"It's an interesting issue you raise. To reply to the OP, I met an older man, refined, nice gentle man. He said he wanted a transvestite boyfriend. Friends in male mode outside the house, me dressed and his girl inside the house. That suits me perfectly. He dated me openly in public, I've never done that before, but I was starting to feel really confident, it was great as he treated me like a Princess. Inside it was amazing, he made me feel like a Princess. I'm feeling very positive about myself for once, I'm growing in confidence to be openly gay, effeminate, and happy in public. Then he dumped me by email. The reason he gave was "...you're too sexy, too nice, too feminine, and I'm developing genuine feelings for you. I'm giving this, and you, up in favour of restoring an old MGB GT".
Explain that one to me, a bloody MGB? Not a Ferrari, or an Aston Martin, or a Dodge Charger, but a bloody MGB GT". I console myself with the fact it wasn't an Allegro, a Marina, or a dodging Lada.
How if you're a transvestite can you be too sexy, too feminine, or too nice? Isn't that the bloody point? I'm not TS, no desire to have my bits whipped off, I'm just a gay transvestite, old enough to know better, but that's a different topic.
To touch on Nordic's point maybe many of them abide by the old adage that it's not gay if you only fuck and get a blow job, and no kissing. It's only gay if you duck and get fucked. I don't mind that so much, apart from the no kissing, if it helps them get over their issues.
The problem is you're dealing with human beings, we're all perfectly imperfect, full of worries, fears, frailties, and defects. Once you combine those with lust, desire, sexuality, expectations of others, societal perception, it all gets very messy very quickly.
Plus sometimes people say they want something, you give them it, and all of a sudden it turns out they didn't want the reality, they wanted the fantasy in their head.
It won't change. The best you can hope for is to meet someone where the mutual spark brings you both what you seek.