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Cruising

By *rev50  (M) 11 weeks ago

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Hi everyone,would appreciate your comments,as we all know not many cottages left,still some cruising places,there is a place I visit sometimes,it’s very remote,some dog walkers use it occasionlly,you have to park your car and walk a fair distance to the wooded area ,which is off the beaten track used by a very few dog walkers or hikers etc,also there is a little river which I fished few times,I have a friend who is also bi married(or was married)he worked for a company and had a van,one dinner time he visited this place ,parked up and walked along footpath etc etc ,had some fun ,30 minutes about,the police sent a letter to his firm,saying that there van was left unattended at the particular place,time etc date,the company phoned his house after the letter ,he was out,they asked his wife about the letter etc,she looked up the place on internet,see it was mentioned being a cruising area,they now divorced,2 children ,lost his job ,what the fuck was the point of that,

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By *aglite  (M) 11 weeks ago

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What a shower of B@&74DS!!! Must have been a horrible situation to go through.

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By *nello  (M) 11 weeks ago

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1. police sent letter , I think, just to inform company that the company van was left on the road in the middle of nothing, maybe it is not allowed to leave a van on this road at this place. He could just put a small letter on the window - something like the van is broken or something else

2. the company did stupid things - how his wife suppose to know about a left van ???? I would send away such employee immediately... no one can put his/her nose in family life of others....

3. divorce - is the simplest thing. the problem of the modern society is that we lost ability to talk, to communicate, to listen to.... nowadays is easier to chat, write sms or in messenger....

would they talk, they would manage their private life easier... sexual life in couple it is things for 2 person basically... and manage this type of life is possible, they need just to talk and understand....

and, I think, there are problems in private life before this event, and his wife wasn't too clever to search in internet for this place and its usage... real day-by-day life and sexual life go together, but find a balance first in own family sexual life is important.... as well as respect to each other.

in any way, I am genuinely sorry for your friend. I can imagine how stressed, depressed and anxious he is now....

he needs your help and support and, I think, you have to provide it, especially now, today, immediately....

sorry for my opinion, but it is so

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*etropolis By *etropolis   profile verified by photo (M) 11 weeks ago

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The company is quite within its rights to ask why the van was left unattended. It might have contained valuable items, or he might have said he was doing his job at the time.

Perhaps his wife had had enough of him and there were already problems within the marriage.

Is it really anyone else's business?

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By *nello  (M) 11 weeks ago

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"The company is quite within its rights to ask why the van was left unattended. It might have contained valuable items, or he might have said he was doing his job at the time.

Perhaps his wife had had enough of him and there were already problems within the marriage.

Is it really anyone else's business?"

what I really hate that they asked his WIFE about the letter... how is it possible that she can know such details about his daily job?

or maybe they also call her to ask details about other deliveries he made earlier (maybe they need to ask details of delivery or something else regarding his van)???

absurd!!!!

if I was him I would definitely know who from the company called and talked with my wife...

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By *onsterBlast  (M) 11 weeks ago

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Some 'friend' the OP is. Discussing someone else's problems in a public forum. If he is indeed your friend, he would have told you the circumstances.

This is disgusting. As has been said, this is no-one else's business. Stop the gossip.

I suspect the OP is the 'man with van'.

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*ordic-knight By *ordic-knight   premium paying member (M) 11 weeks ago

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"

I suspect the OP is the 'man with van'."

That is exactly what I was thinking.

I can understand the police showing an interest in the van if they knew is was close to a cruising spot that was under surveillance after complaints. Also it would depend on the type of van e.g. security, delivery, valuable machinery etc., which is not safe to be left unattended.

I do think it out of order to discuss this with the wife. An over zealous and tactless office junior or perhaps this was not the first time the van had been reported.

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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago

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Easy excuse …… desperately needed a shit! Who is going to argue with that?

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*muujay By *muujay   premium paying member (M) 11 weeks ago

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I think in this case the police went over the mark slightly. Years ago I came across an elderly vehicle parts courier who'd suffered a cardiac episode (I didn't know at the time but it was a fatal heart attack). Anyway he'd taken ill and stopped the van and went to the toilet I suppose thinking he was going to be sick. He hadn't even switched off the van's engine and as it turns out the toilet he'd picked was a cruising one. It was in the middle of the day and I only stopped seeing all the commotion. By that time he was laid out on the ground and unconscious. The few cruisers who'd come to his initial aid had disappeared although thankfully one did have the presence of mind to summon an ambulance. I daresay they didn't want to get involved. The ambulance arrived and after explaining to the crew what had happened they took him inside and asked if I'd mind attending to the van with the engine still running. I dealt with the van accordingly and was asked if I'd mind handing them in at the local police station.

I drove down to the station and went to hand them in after explaining what had happened. Initially I was told by this obnoxious civvie behind the desk that I could not hand the keys over and that I'd have to hand them back to the company myself (over 30 miles away!). I asked him then to telephone the company to explain what had happened and was directed to the nearest phone box and make the call myself. When I got outside I was fuming at the way this person had conducted himself in dealing with the incident given that I was pretty much shaken by the whole episode of events. I then turned around and went back in again and requested to speak to someone in uniform / authority repeated the whole episode yet again and was able to hand over the van keys this time and left there after giving them my details etc..

About 2 days later I had a call from this parts company thanking me for my actions and would I mind going over the part I'd played in the whole thing. When I asked how the driver was I was informed he'd passed away later that day in hospital without regaining consciousness. His family had been informed by the police that he'd died "in this toilet which was frequented quite often by homosexuals" - and was there any truth in the matter. I could not believe that whoever had liaised with the family in passing on the tragic news had seen fit to mention that it was a cruising toilet. The poor bloke must have felt rotten and immediately thought about being sick so where else would he go. This was his number one priority and he even left the van with the keys in the ignition so that he could attend to himself. I doubt very much if he knew anything about the place being a cruising venue because let's face it if you or I were sat in front of the TV and felt the need to be sick where would you go. I for one know damn well I wouldn't throw up on the carpet and would get myself to either the toilet or even failing that even the kitchen sink which is what this poor family man did rather than be sick in his van.

I did go to his funeral and met up with his widow and family and was able to offer this explanation to them hoping this would wipe out whatever that over zealous and uncaring person from the police had told them initially. His widow was so grateful that I paid my resepects at his funeral as were the rest of his family and thanked me for being with him "at the end". I had thought of making an official complaint about the whole sad episode but felt this would be best either left for the company to pursue or his family.

The point of my contribution here is to support the OP because although inferred by others, at no point has he identified his friend nor the company whose van it was etc.. You'd expect the police authority to vet what individual officers mention in breaking news like this to those involved but evidently as proved here this is not the case every time.

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By *eeksYounger  (M) 11 weeks ago

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Nottinghamshire police regularly send letters to registered owners od vehicles spotted in 'cruising' areas.

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By *nello  (M) 11 weeks ago

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*radley By *radley  (TV/TS/CD) 11 weeks ago

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So what if you are there innocently?

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By *ikey1973   profile verified by photo (M) 11 weeks ago

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Difficult one. As a cruiser myself I have seen the problems usually brought on by inconsiderate cruisers if I’m honest.

Leaving sexual litter or being obvious about what you are up to attracts a lot of complaints from members of the public.

The police are informed and have to react even though most would rather be doing something else.

A letter sent about unattended vehicles is a good minimal action for police to take.

They phoned the house to speak to the driver and his wife took the call. They only talked about an enquiry into a parking issue.

It was the wife who googled the site so I would guess she already had suspicions of what her husband was up to.

Motto .. he who fucks about should be discreet.

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By *nello  (M) 11 weeks ago

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"Difficult one. As a cruiser myself I have seen the problems usually brought on by inconsiderate cruisers if I’m honest.

Leaving sexual litter or being obvious about what you are up to attracts a lot of complaints from members of the public.

The police are informed and have to react even though most would rather be doing something else.

A letter sent about unattended vehicles is a good minimal action for police to take.

They phoned the house to speak to the driver and his wife took the call. They only talked about an enquiry into a parking issue.

It was the wife who googled the site so I would guess she already had suspicions of what her husband was up to.

Motto .. he who fucks about should be discreet. "

no, it was the company who talked with the wrong person and provided details of where the van was left

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By *ikey1973   profile verified by photo (M) 11 weeks ago

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Apologies I misread. In that case nobody did anything wrong except the driver who should have been more careful.

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*ordic-knight By *ordic-knight   premium paying member (M) 11 weeks ago

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As I said earlier it was probably a thoughtless member of the company staff who questioned the wife and I'm guessing she was already suspicious to look up the cruising site on the internet. These days the police are not so indiscreet.

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*radley By *radley  (TV/TS/CD) 11 weeks ago

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Wasn't the driver who should have been more careful in the process of dying at the time??

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By *onsterBlast  (M) 11 weeks ago

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Wradley what a fucking stupid thing to say. People don't choose where to have a heart attack.

And _muujay, if your story is true, how do you know the man had 'been taken ill and stopped the van'? He might have been cruising himself when he had a heart attack.

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*radley By *radley  (TV/TS/CD) 11 weeks ago

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I didn't say he chose where to have a heart attack I said he was in the process of dying at the time

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*muujay By *muujay   premium paying member (M) 11 weeks ago

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"

.........

And _muujay, if your story is true, how do you know the man had 'been taken ill and stopped the van'? He might have been cruising himself when he had a heart attack."

There is no "if the story is true" I can guarantee you and please give the poor bloke some credit. He'd abandoned a liveried van containing expensive vehicle spare parts and left the engine running with the keys still in the ignition. That is how I surmise it to be the action of someone who was taken ill (and not out cruising as you as you imply whilst driving and in my opinion his only concern was to get himself to somewhere more private if he was going to be sick!

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*etropolis By *etropolis   profile verified by photo (M) 11 weeks ago

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"I didn't say he chose where to have a heart attack I said he was in the process of dying at the time"

How do you know he was dying?

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*radley By *radley  (TV/TS/CD) 11 weeks ago

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Again I didn't say he was dying I said that he was in the process of dying.....the writer states that the person was unconscious before the ambulance arrived and that he never regained consciousness that is a process or a series of behaviours that had an unfortunate outcome!

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By *nello  (M) 11 weeks ago

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"I didn't say he chose where to have a heart attack I said he was in the process of dying at the time

How do you know he was dying?"

definitely not from the moment of his arrival at that place.... I think it was clear after reviewing the whole situation....

we can analyse his story in all details including choice of lexis but what is the point to do this? why you provoke him defence himself.

from my point of view he did right and, I think you agree, majority of people will just go away from situations (accidents, etc) coz they do not want to be involved...

in my life I was several times seeing people in emergency situation, being shy I didnt went immediately, but I saw that people just go away or just watched, and, what is disgusting, stated making video records with phones.... seeing that no one going to help, only then I went and provided emergency help and service....

guys, please, lets stop witch hunting and stigmatisation ....

I think we discussed enough and told the topic started our opinions...

and no I think we can stop...

sorry

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*radley By *radley  (TV/TS/CD) 11 weeks ago

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Here here _nello!

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By *nello  (M) 11 weeks ago

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"Here here _nello!"

yes.... sorry for disappointing you, im here

p.s.

wow... really sexy legs!!!

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By *rev50  (M) 10 weeks ago

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Thank you all for your thoughts,each response has merits,to clear a few points,it’s not illegal to park there,think it’s classed as nature reserve,every car will be unattended as footpaths every where,as said it’s a known cruising area,but not anyway in view of others who use it for walks,dog walkers etc,let’s say it was a wife or husband ,having a secret affair etc,so wife takes family car to meet her secret lover ,then the husband gets letter saying his car was seen unattended at the place,I personally think,they should be more tactful before ruining people’s lives

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*usansilkysubcd By *usansilkysubcd  (TV/TS/CD) 10 weeks ago

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"Nottinghamshire police regularly send letters to registered owners od vehicles spotted in 'cruising' areas. "

It’s a pity they have nothing better to do, like tackling the rising real crime in Nottingham maybe?

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By *rev50  (M) 10 weeks ago

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Agree,keep saying no man power,I had a break in ,3 days later turned up,not interested,to busy collecting car number plates

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By *ssexBiker   profile verified by photo (M) 10 weeks ago

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I can only give positive praise to our local plod in Braintree. They have pulled through the local cruising layby on a few occasions and have always been very friendly.

They are more interested in detecting drug us. Fair play to our local police. One said to me, " as long as you're okay mate" have a good evening giving a thumbs up.

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*ssexlad2202 By *ssexlad2202  (M) 8 weeks ago

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Has there ever been any action in this lay-by? I know exactly the one your on about but have never had any luck

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By *ssexBiker   profile verified by photo (M) 8 weeks ago

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"Has there ever been any action in this lay-by? I know exactly the one your on about but have never had any luck "

Considering the good weather we've has it's been pretty dire

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